angry female EXTREMIST (a_white_rain) wrote in naruto_humor,
angry female EXTREMIST
a_white_rain
naruto_humor

crack!

Blood and Flowers
By: a_white_rain and muffytaj
Summary: Severus Snape summons demons to help him take down Voldemort, however what he got instead was Gai, Sasuke, Kakashi, and Neji. Will a hot five-some be inevitable? Read! The crack summary compels you!



Snape re-read his notes, wondering where exactly his spell had gone wrong. Locked deep inside his house, with Wormtail sent to clean the bathroom, there should have been no interference. He had summoned for a fighting demon, one that would help to protect him. He was planning on taking down Voldemort next week, so he needed some protection.

Instead he had gotten a man in a green jumpsuit, and a small, unconscious teenager decked out in black. The green man looked around in surprise, before dumping the black boy on the ground. He had a black bowl-cut, and just by the way he stood Snape could tell he was a leader, a man's man, and everyone's best friend.

Snape instantly hated him on general principle.

The man struck a pose, and gabbled away at Snape. Snape blinked at the green man, wondering if he really was a demon, or if he had seriously fucked up somewhere. Maybe adding the lotus blossom to the tainted blood had been a bad idea. The man didn't seem dangerous... but then looks were deceiving.

He cautiously approached the muscular man, who had put his hands behind his head and was continuing his incomprehensible monologue. Snape made eye contact with him, and slid his mind into the other man's.

Images flashed by, movement moving at once slower and faster than normal. The boy's face appeared, talking, the watcher focussed on the insanely feminine face, the delicate curve of the boy's lips. The smoothness of his tattooed back also flickered into view, and side-by-side to it was a white-haired man, masked one moment, naked the next.

He tried to seek out the stranger's identity, but found only blood and flowers. In the next instant he was thrown out of the man's mind, and found himself on all fours on the floor, panting.

"My rival Kakashi has a similar technique, so I've learnt how to deal with such attacks." The man, Gai was the name that Snape had picked up, said, his impossibly white teeth glinting in a smile.

Snape, equipped with the knowledge he had stolen from Gai's mind, pieced together his words.

"Who are you?" He asked harshly in the man's native tongue. "And who is your companion?"

"I am Matio Gai, a shinobi of the Hidden Leaf village!" Gai said, and for some reason sunlight glinted around him. "And this is my newest pupil and young love, Uchiha Sasuke!"

"Your pupil and your love?" Snape raised an eyebrow.

"I love each and every one of my students!" Gai exclaimed, "Sometimes twice a day! It is the sign of a true teacher! He has been greatly hurt in the past, and I am using love in order to teach him the glory of the good side, and to help heal him. I believe that all people in pain need all forms of love in order to fulfil their destinies."

Maybe he really had summoned a demon, Snape mused. The man was certainly mad enough.

"Now, my dear friend, who are you?" Gai asked and, with a slightly seductive smile, settled down to listen.


like what you see? friend the_good_crack
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